Riveted By Balloon Boy? Pathetic.

Maybe I've just grown cynical in my advanced age, but, I'm not sure why anyone would have been riveted by the "balloon boy" saga. Seriously. Don't you have more important things to worry about? Now, it's even more pathetic that y'all who were riveted, were riveted by a hoax! Suckers. Then again, you probably voted for hope and change.

Ed Schultz is a Complete Tool

Actually, that's not fair to tools. Most tools have a use. Ed, however, does not. First, a couple quotes from BIG Ed.

Now if you watch Limbaugh with the sound down, the drugster, he looks like Adolf Hitler!

Liberals are so totally predictable. Bloviating without any knowledge. "I didn't listen to Rush, but (fill in the blank)." Amazing that he would admit this on the air. Well, nobody listens so I guess he thought he was safe.

Am I jealous? Every talk show host is sitting here saying we'd love to have that. C'mon! We're radio, we're in radio, we have egos.

A little background on the ever-expanding Ed. Back in the the early 90's, he was just a local talk show host, still out of Fargo, ND (yes I lived there at the time). He came on before Rush and was actually kinda interesting. He had a conservative tilt, but loved to stir the pot. If you listened to him long enough, it wasn't hard to tell that large-and-in-charge Ed's goal was to be Rush Limbaugh. It was an ongoing joke with the locals that listened. We called him "baby Rush". He went so far as to very closely copy Rush's format, down the the network. Instead of the EIB network, mega Ed had the FIB (freedom in broadcasting) network.

Now, after all these years, he finally admits his jealousy of Rush and his success. I wonder if Ed gets the leg tingle, too. He and Ms. Matthews should meet somewhere in Moorhead and compare tingles. And, yes, Moorhead's a real town right next to Fargo.

Now Toy Companies are Evil

Move over big oil, big toy is next on the hated list. An AP story from the weekend says parents are actually writing letters to toy companies asking them to stop advertising directly to their kids. Unreal. Here's the nut quote:

The message: Please, in these days of economic angst, cut back on marketing your products directly to our children.

Isn't that one of the things kids look forward to every year? Getting to see what is new and cool? Was I the only kid who went through the toy catalogs (about 100 times) and circled every other item? Some more brilliance:

The letter-writing initiative was launched by the Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, which says roughly 1,400 of its members and supporters have contacted 24 leading toy companies and retailers to express concern about ads aimed at kids.

"Unfortunately, I will not be able to purchase many of the toys that my sons have asked for; we simply don't have the money," wrote Todd Helmkamp of Hudson, Ind. "By bombarding them with advertisements ... you are placing parents like me in the unenviable position of having to tell our children that we can't afford the toys you promote."

Well, Todd, either get a second or third job or tell you sons "NO". Ever heard of taking control yourself? I'll wager anything Todd voted for the messiah. Who would have thought that big evil corporations are leading to better parenting. Fantastic! Stop spoiling your future liberal, Todd.

"If children are not aware of what is new and available, how will they be able to tell their families what their preferences are?" an industry statement said. "While there is certainly greater economic disturbance going on now, families have always faced different levels of economic well-being and have managed to tailor their spending to their means."

I like this response from the industry, but the first sentence is kinda dumb. That said, the statement should have ended with, "Stick that in your stocking, Todd."

"Parents have trouble saying no," said Allison Pugh, a University of Virginia sociology professor. She says parents often buy toys to avoid guilt and ensure their children feel in sync with school classmates.

Amanda Almodovar says she encounters such families in her work as an elementary school social worker in Alamance County, N.C., where homelessness and unemployment are rising. "I had one parent who said she'd prostitute herself to get what her child wants," Almodovar said.

Right on, Allison. Amanda, look at it this way. That "parent" was probably attracted to you and didn't have the courage to ask you out for a date. They were just judging your response. If you had responded, "Let me know when you do", then they would have known you were interested. Read between the lines, Amanda.

I do have the ultimate solution to this. Be an actual parent. Spend time with your kids. And TURN OFF THE DAMN TV.

Obama's Victory Spurs Gun Sales

That is the actual, priceless, front page headline in my local birdcage liner. This is too much for many reasons, as I'm sure that you can guess.

Those of us intelligent enough to read between the lines, know the true meaning of the headline. The messiah will try to take our guns away. Let's review his words from the campaign.

"If you’ve got a gun in your house, I’m not taking it,’’ Obama said. But the Illinois senator could still see skeptics in the crowd, particularly on the faces of several men at the back of the room.
So he tried again. “Even if I want to take them away, I don’t have the votes in Congress,’’ he said.

I'm sorry, but the last sentence is the key. Sounds to me like he's tipping his hand there. He's already figured out that he doesn't have the votes. If you love your guns, but still voted for "hope and change", you deserve to lose your guns.

The next way to take the headline, there are those of us worried about the messiah's plan to "spread the wealth" that Joke Biden laid out so well. Come on, Biden. I dare you to man up and come to my house and take my wealth. Do it!!

The last way, which may land me in jail for even mentioning, I won't mention. Except to say there is one big hunting trip planned by people who shouldn't be hunting.

The Truth? A Little Late!

Well, it's socialism full steam ahead!! Yes he can! Anyway, suddenly there are stories galore about how the press was in the tank for the messiah. And how "maybe" McCain didn't get a fair shake. Right. This bunch of geniuses just figured it out? Perhaps their stories were eaten by their dogs.

Also, is there a good reason Mrs. Palin continues to be raked over the coals? My best guess is that the moron media is deathly afraid of someone who actually promotes conservative ideas and she's the current leader of that movement.

Finally, what will McCain the maverick do now? Will he lead the fight against the messiah? Or, will we find him in bed with the messiah the first time the chips are down? You tell me.

Stephanopoulos is a Shill? No Way!

How can any news organization hire someone like Stephanopoulos and even try to pass themselves off as neutral? This is a former Clinton insider and defender. Not surprisingly, he scored every debate for the messiah and even had the gall to consider Biden the winner of Mrs. Palin. Then, this morning on GMA, he has the gall to state that Mrs. Palin is a drag on the McCain campaign, but Biden has been great. When is the last time anyone heard from Biden? Is he still around? Anyone? Mrs. Palin a drag on the campaign. Tell us what you really think, Steffy.

Did You Know Ladies Could Be Mean?

I have long contended that there is nothing nastier that a woman who is expressing hate towards another woman. While I don't always win the "discussion", I still think that I am right. Here is yet another exhibit in my case. Mary Mitchell writing in the Chicago Sun-Times and the first sentence alone should end the "discussion": "Sarah Palin makes me sick." Throw in three "hates", two "scares" and three more "sicks" and you have a wonderful example of someone losing their minds. Good stuff.

Pole Dancers Are Hot

Alright, now that I have your attention, here's the scoop. As we all know, the Democrats love polls when the reveal what they want them to reveal. However, when the polls don't, they hate them. The messiah didn't even register a blip in his poll numbers after the convention (which says a lot), but McCain and Mrs. Palin received a hit of Biblical proportions. As reported in this USA Today story, here are the salient facts:

The Republican National Convention has given John McCain and his party a significant boost, a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll taken over the weekend shows, as running mate Sarah Palin helps close an "enthusiasm gap" that has dogged the GOP all year.

McCain leads Democrat Barack Obama by 50%-46% among registered voters, the Republican's biggest advantage since January and a turnaround from the USA TODAY poll taken just before the convention opened in St. Paul. Then, he lagged by 7 percentage points.

From down seven to up four!! An eleven point swing and I bet you have not heard much about it. Of course you have not heard about it. These poll dancers took a break from the reporting and are waiting until they like the polls. Whatever. Again, McCain looks brilliant for picking Mrs. Palin!!

Now I'm a Racist - Good to Know

Throughout the primary process, there have been undertones that not voting for the messiah means you are a racist. There has been the rare liberal brave enough to say it, and another one raises his ugly head. In an article from the SF Chronicle, there are a few"interesting" things said about those of us not bright enough to vote for the messiah.

The money quote is this:

"These are folks that may have a problem with Obama," said Gerald Austin, a Democratic strategist who worked for Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland. "They may say it's his experience, but we know it's because of his race."

Gerald, you have such an amazing grasp on reality. You are right. I'm not voting for your messiah because he's only half cracker. That's how shallow and stupid I am. It has nothing to do with these "facts": he's pro-abortion, he's all for raising taxes, he's against drilling now, he's for universal health care. No, I'm against him because of his race. Fine. Since I'm all clueless and vapid, I'm also against him because he's a whiner, he can't speak a complete sentence without pausing, he's in love with his voice, he doesn't have an original thought in his empty suit and he dances like an epileptic lemur.

How Does CNN Stay In Business?

O brother. At lunch with the yard apes and this headline was on CNN: "Sign of tough times: Parking meters stolen". Riveting stuff, CNN. I guess we all should stop for a moment and pray to God for a return to the crime-free, halcyon days of Slick Willy. I'd write more, but there's an old lady walking by and I'm sure I can steal her purse. Curse you George W. Bush!